Meet the parents
CHRISTMAS = FAMILY.
Chances are high your partner is plotting to spring some long, sentimental family reunions on you with all her extended relatives.
It’s time to be prepared. For those who haven’t gone through the ‘sacred’ ritual of meeting the in-laws, take a big breath and prepare for the worst.
PICTURE THE SCENE. It’s Christmas Day. The seasonal dinner has been served, heads are spinning from excessive alcohol consumption and trouser buttons are being tested from swollen stomachs.
You feel it’s time to relax and enjoy the day, then dear old Aunt Maude pipes up with: “So, when are you two going to have some kids?”
TO AVOID this ticking time bomb, come prepared with gifts that are thoughtful enough to place you high in the relatives’ good books, and just the right amount of entertaining to keep conversation flowing - but aim to steer talk away from your private life.
Artist Alex Pearce, 25, said: “Before meeting my ex-girlfriend’s parents, she hinted once or twice that her dad was fairly traditional but I went to her parent's house without a second thought.
“It was New Year’s and I was hoping for some drinks and festivities. This is where I made the ultimate mistake - I walked in expecting to be met with smiling faces.
“In reality, it turned out her Dad was high-ranking in the army and by pure ‘coincidence’ had left two of his guns out on the bottom of the stairs to subtly remind himself to clean them. The message was received. I was unwelcome. We broke up soon after,” he said.
HERE’S HOPING you have better luck this yuletide. If all else fails however, try to make the most of the free food at the very least.
Would you report a partner that had been physically violent to you?
It’s an issue very much in the press at the moment with the current Nigella Lawson scandal. Are you in a relationship free from domestic abuse and would you in fact report your partner if there were? We talk to two men giving two different debates on why you should or shouldn't report a partner.
Jamie Pack says yes:
If I was being subjected to physical abuse by my partner I would definitely be inclined to report my case, to hopefully help find the cause of any underlining issues that had come between the two of us. I think there are too many cases that go by untreated, you hear of some terrible stories where the worst case scenario can often occur if the abuse is not reported.
It could start from a small form of verbal bullying which I might not take too seriously at the time to then escalate into serious physical abuse. I know it may be difficult to fully understand what action you may take until you were put in that position; however I would like to think that I wouldn't let any form of violence to be part of my relationship.
If this sort of abuse was going on in my relationship, I would like to think I would report it however embarrassing it would be towards myself because no man should be afraid of a partner. It is understandably a sensitive subject, especially if the man is the one suffering with the abuse but the more men who come forward about the issue, the less shame will surround it.
James Frost says no:
I would choose not to report my partner primarily due to the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and shame. Sharing such an issue could drastically change the way which people view my persona. I would lose respect, especially those of male orientation within my family and football team.
Should friends or family find out it would highlight me as physically weak and less confident and make them feel sorry for me. I wouldn't want people to think this was the case as it would affect my confidence.
I would also be scared to let my relationship become broken and feel that I was the cause of the break up. I would expect my partner to finish our relationship should I voice my opinion on such matters externally.
From a physical perspective I wouldn't want my partner to replicate the violence. I would probably keep quiet in the hope that further violence didn't occur. Envisaging the violence as a one-off occurrence and covering up any signs of bruising or pain from other people.
Also, my partner and I have been together for a long period and I would not want to see her punished. Not just because of what it could do to her career and life but also because it technically makes me as bad as her.
I would personally like to think I would manage the situation on a personal level with my partner ensuring it wouldn't happen again hence why I would not report my partner. I guess I wouldn't know what I would exactly do in the situation, but I would like to think I could spots signs early on if physical abuse was occurring in my relationship, to stop it before it got out of hand.
Should friends or family find out it would highlight me as physically weak and less confident and make them feel sorry for me. I wouldn't want people to think this was the case as it would affect my confidence.
I would also be scared to let my relationship become broken and feel that I was the cause of the break up. I would expect my partner to finish our relationship should I voice my opinion on such matters externally.
From a physical perspective I wouldn't want my partner to replicate the violence. I would probably keep quiet in the hope that further violence didn't occur. Envisaging the violence as a one-off occurrence and covering up any signs of bruising or pain from other people.
Also, my partner and I have been together for a long period and I would not want to see her punished. Not just because of what it could do to her career and life but also because it technically makes me as bad as her.
I would personally like to think I would manage the situation on a personal level with my partner ensuring it wouldn't happen again hence why I would not report my partner. I guess I wouldn't know what I would exactly do in the situation, but I would like to think I could spots signs early on if physical abuse was occurring in my relationship, to stop it before it got out of hand.
________________________________________________________________________________
To tattoo or not to tattoo?
It is looking even more likely that the current generation will end up being a group of inked-up, old-aged pensioners. But with something as permanent as tattooing, should you be making that dedication to a piece of ink that you may regret in 10 years’ time?
The art of tattooing has been around since as far back as the early-18th century and was first introduced to Europe by voyaging sailors.
Traditionally associated with ‘men of the sea,’ modern tattoos are a far cry from their original origins. These days it is often harder to spot someone without a tattoo than with.
With celebrity influences such as David Beckham, more and more people seem to be concerning themselves with how the ink will look in fashion terms, rather than deciding on a tattoo that is meaningful to them.
Tattoo artist Rico Wolf says: “Tattooing isn’t good or bad in itself. Like anything - it is what you choose to do with it. To be fair some people do make choices that even people who love tattoos will think ‘what the hell!’”
Although in the past a lot of negative stereotypes have surrounded those of us who choose to have ink, many people are moving away from the typical ‘stamp tramp,’ quotes and sleeve tattoos and heading in a more artistic approach. In a more understanding generation, tattoo culture gives people the chance to be creative and use their skin as a blank canvas – their ink becomes part of their personality and identity.
Rico says: “On one side you have those people who make bad choices. On the other tattooing is being taken to an artistic high - to the point where amazing pieces of ink can match any other high-end artwork out there.”
If you are still unsure whether to take the plunge - take the time to consider your design and speak to tattoo artists as well as various people who already have ink before dedicating to go under the needle. There is NO rush.
Remember, once committed you will have it for the rest of your life – and although your chosen football team or girlfriend may mean the world to you at the time, that might not be the case years down the line.
To tattoo or not to tattoo?
It is looking even more likely that the current generation will end up being a group of inked-up, old-aged pensioners. But with something as permanent as tattooing, should you be making that dedication to a piece of ink that you may regret in 10 years’ time?
Traditionally associated with ‘men of the sea,’ modern tattoos are a far cry from their original origins. These days it is often harder to spot someone without a tattoo than with.
With celebrity influences such as David Beckham, more and more people seem to be concerning themselves with how the ink will look in fashion terms, rather than deciding on a tattoo that is meaningful to them.
Tattoo artist Rico Wolf says: “Tattooing isn’t good or bad in itself. Like anything - it is what you choose to do with it. To be fair some people do make choices that even people who love tattoos will think ‘what the hell!’”
Although in the past a lot of negative stereotypes have surrounded those of us who choose to have ink, many people are moving away from the typical ‘stamp tramp,’ quotes and sleeve tattoos and heading in a more artistic approach. In a more understanding generation, tattoo culture gives people the chance to be creative and use their skin as a blank canvas – their ink becomes part of their personality and identity.
Rico says: “On one side you have those people who make bad choices. On the other tattooing is being taken to an artistic high - to the point where amazing pieces of ink can match any other high-end artwork out there.”
If you are still unsure whether to take the plunge - take the time to consider your design and speak to tattoo artists as well as various people who already have ink before dedicating to go under the needle. There is NO rush.
Remember, once committed you will have it for the rest of your life – and although your chosen football team or girlfriend may mean the world to you at the time, that might not be the case years down the line.
No comments:
Post a Comment